Virginity is about Sexual Responsibility
By Raynah Sivaraman

Given today's moral climate, "Virginity" is not about being pure and chaste and occupying the moral high ground. Quite simply, Virginity is about being Sexually Responsible.

Have you ever wondered what Sexual Responsibility means? And, how it can be cultivated and expressed? A4Y presents the following guidelines:

• Respect yourself and others: Formulate your own set of values without being influenced by the values of friends (you must have sex; it's important to have a girlfriend/boyfriend) or the values of the media (sex is the done thing; sex is such fun), or even your own sexual feelings and intense emotions (I love him; I want her to belong to me). Have the courage to decide what you believe is right or wrong. Just a hint….If you're in doubt, you are most likely trying to avoid looking at what you believe is right…and you may be justifying what you essentially believe is wrong (everybody is doing it, it can't be wrong….why should I be "different"?)

• Make responsible choices: There is intimacy in a sexual act that goes beyond the physical. If you do not feel any emotional bonding -- friendship, trust, and affection – do not indulge in sexual intimacy. That's being sexually responsible.

• There is no "accident" when it comes to sex: Sex and sexual intimacy are always based on who you go with, where you go, what you do and what you have with you (carrying a condom?). You make your choice – be responsible for your choice. "I was drunk" is always an excuse!

• Know how to say "No": Sexual sharing is best enjoyed when a relationship has turned into a friendship….and, when both partners are ready. Contrary to the media messages, sex does not create closeness and real love does not need sex in order to express itself or to grow. The word "No" often implies greater responsibility, respect and love than the word "yes"…..think about it….just for a moment.

• Recognize and accept the consequences of your sexual behavior: Sexual behavior, like any other behavior, always reflects who you are. Sexual responsibility is essentially about being honest with oneself and caring for the other's feelings and well-being. "I'm a virgin" is about responsibility…..not reputation.

• Educate Yourself and Communicate: Get reliable information on sex, share doubts, express concerns on sexual risks and communicate feelings about appropriate sexual behavior and sexuality to your close friends. Talk about safe sex, the need to avoid an unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. Become sexually responsible.