A New Year, A New Beginning: Do You Give Cheating Partners Another Chance?
He Says: Why Not?
Boyfriend cheats on girlfriend, girlfriend dumps cheating boyfriend, cheating boyfriend realizes his mistake, cheating boyfriend begs for another chance, girlfriend – a) gives him another chance or b) tells him to get lost.
Yes, this is the typical scenario when guys cheat on their girls. With slight variations to the story, the end result may or may not be that hard. But for some girls, deciding on whether or not they should trust the cheat again is easier said than done. This is because they think that their cheating ex, being the human being that he is, can change for the better. I for one, would like to go with this philosophy. I believe that first-time cheaters (I’m talking about guys here) may have just fallen into the trap of human impulse. They meet a great girl, who turns out to be as interested as well, and then things just happen. If this is the case, and the guy is as repentant as a new-born angel after, I think second-chances should apply. Ladies, believe it or not, guys can change their ways after all. If a guy really loves you, he will change for you, even if that means keeping his eyes and other head in check.
So, do you give a cheating partner another chance? Definitely. As long as he’s willing to rebuild your trust in him, give him the opportunity. But second chances are exactly that, second chances. If he pulls the same stunt on you again, by all means, leave him in the dust, you deserve better.
She Says: You are highly encouraged to get rid of cheating partners
(Forenote: Before answering the question, I want to give counterarguments on a related issue. I believe this would somehow give support to my claim. =)
“Men are made polygamous. We just have to live with it.”
This I say is one of humanity’s worst forms of illogical reasoning, yet unfortunately, it is among the most common phrases we hear from people. Indeed when we encounter cases of celebrity break-ups due to man’s disloyalty to his woman, we barely hear the society call the man the culprit of the crime. Sometimes, the crowd would even say that, “We have to understand him; he is just being true to his nature.”
Nowadays, that famous expression is much equivalent to saying that being male and cheating are (statistically proven as) two highly-correlated traits. If it were true, then I'd say that men are the lowest forms of beings on earth since they allow their human tendencies to overpower their way of thinking, which should actually be the other way around. And if Plato would be consistent with the arguments he raised in his classic political piece “The Republic,” then he would be on my side.
As for me, I tend to believe that “many men chose to be polygamous.” Unlike D4DR, the so-called thrill-seeking gene, I have never heard of any of our chromosomes responsible to make any guy double-cross. Or if ever there is such a finding, then it would be controversial just like the D4DR case. It will be a claim which is hard to prove, and it would take ages before it can be considered a biological law. Despite all the latest findings I hear (or even those which I would soon hear), I am more likely to believe that cheating is more of an option our human mind makes, rather than a tendency we can’t avoid by all means. And though being loyal might be a hard thing to do, it is after all not an impossible task.
God forbid, but if ever you caught your boyfriend red handed, don’t let him evade the issue by saying that, “I am only human… born to make mistakes.” If he does make use of this reason, I say he’s not worthy of your mercy. On the other hand, if he admits his mistake and promises to change for the better, then you may possibly give him a chance – but that is optional. Kidding aside.
Above all, know that it is one alternative to forgive and giving him what the society calls a "second chance" is another. Although both options could be done, it has to be seen that the former could go away without the latter, and vice versa. Actually, there are other options that merely going on and forgetting what has been done. There’s the path of friendship, or you could at least be civil. Learn all forms of peaceful coexistence, to speak in general, and doing that does not instantly make you worthy of the title “Ice Queen.” It could be done out of love not only for him, but also for yourself. While the choices you make might depend on the magnitude of his misdemeanor, never forget that cheating of all forms is still…CHEATING.